Love: K.I.S.S

So, this post goes more to the people in relationships.  So if you don't want to read sappy or cheesy sounding stuff, press back on your phone. Or press the x in the corner, cause that will be most of this post.

For those that kept going or skipped over it(because lets face it, if you are like me, you are skimming this article), this post is more about Romantic love. Most of these same things will also apply to Agape love, but this is more for relationships and spouses.

So I have what i consider to be a really awesome girlfriend. I tend to get worried;however, because most of my actions i feel like can get real old and annoying. Obviously, I don't want that to happen. So I started asking myself what actions really show love. Sure the Bible has some examples (a lot really), but what does love look like this day in age apart from those.

So to start off i think we might outline a few things that Love isn't. Love isn't always agreeing with your partner. Love isn't listening until you get bored, and then finding something else. Love isn't getting mad at your partner when something didn't go the way you wanted. Love isn't getting mad when they don't immediately text you back. Love isn't being in the same room, but playing on your phones instead of interacting.  Love isn't expecting your partner to be perfect. LOVE IS ALSO NOT THE EXPECTATION OF YOU HAVING TO BE PERFECT. Love is not the dreamy fantasies and daydreams you have when you are bored. Love also isn't putting pics of your relationship online and with cute litttle captions. Love is not dancing around whatever issues you and your partner have. Love isn't hiding things from your partner because you want them to stay happy.

Now that we have outlined some of the things that love isn't, lets switch to the opposite.  Love is talking to someone after a long day. Love is at least pretending to be interested what whatever you partner is talking about. Love is putting your partner first. Love is being upfront and honest with you partner. Love is not holding back from your partner. Love is realizing that you need to occasionally do stuff without your partner, and that its actually healthy. Love is putting down the phone, turning off the T.V. and interacting with your partner, no matter if its talking or cuddling or what. Love is sometimes annoying your partner. Love is realizing that somedays you will be really irritated at your partner (regardless of how annoying they are.) And that its normal. Love also is being there when they need you most. It can be a simply phrase you say or an unexpected visit. There is no requirement of how big, little or how often you show love. Love is also trying, when you have no idea you will succeed. 

One of the more important things is that love takes effort. Don't get confused here. Somedays you feel humpty dumpty and all romantic and it seems easy, but there will be days that showing love seems impossible. There will be days when you are irritated at that person for whatever reason, and kind of spiteful. These are the days that the effort means the most. These are the hardest days, but the most rewarding.   

You see, I think for guys in my generation (sorry Ladies, I can only speak for guys here.) we get split into two groups when it comes to relationships. Sex and Romanticism. Keep in mind that these have their appropriate place in a relationship, and time periods where they are supposed to happen. The problem is that we are starting to get into the mindset we have to do some elaborate thing to get a girl to love us. That is not the case. Love is gradual and full of small things. To quote my father, who in his own right is fairly romantic, "cut the cute stuff and just ask her".  So Guys and Ladies too, Keep It Small and Simple.

Death: The Key to a better life

I know. This title seems like an oxymoron. How can death of all things, lead to a better life? Well death is something nobody ever wants to talk about. Death is one of those thing that everyone knows about, but no one wants to bring it up. Its become taboo. Typically in history;however, when humans address taboo subject, something major happens.
Now it might seem like I have gotten off topic, but if you are reading this far, then you are the intended audience.

The other day I had a conversation with my father about the effects of his father's death back in November. Neither one of us has been in a great place since this event because his father meant everything to our family. We talked about how we craved using our time importantly, and how we get frustrated when people are ignorantly using their time. There were other things, but we will save that for another post.

Time has become more of a precious commodity for me. You see as much as we wish, time is something we can never get back. Its never something we can redo. Every passing second is cemented in time. Now you might be asking, where did this come from. See you don't realize how much time you have, until you see someone else's, or possibly your own, gone. This will send a wake up call to you. How are you using your time? I know its not possible or even healthy to be doing something 100% of the time. But how often are we trying to multitask while watching TV? How often are trying to talk to some one we love in person, while snapchatting,  or playing on phones?

Another thing we learn is that emotions are temporary. So often we hold on to bitterness and hate. For me it was with my parents for the longest time. This sends the question of: how many things do I want to leave unresolved in this world? There will never be enough time to apologize for everything, and to everyone. How many people have you treated wrong in the last month? Now this is not a question to hurt you and undermine you, but to make you think. How many friends have I left angry? How many relatives have I made feel unloved? What was the last impact you made on a person?

Now it may sound wrong, but I wish everyone would experience a death not of their own in their life time. Because maybe if they did, we would have a better world. Not perfect, but better. You know it doesn't take death to make these lifestyle changes. It is just a sad fact that no one lives like this until death is brought into the picture. So with all of this talk, I just have one question. How are you living?

I believe in an America

I believe in an America, where we can say what we want, as long as it does not present a clear and present danger.
I believe in an America, where we as citizens deal with the consequences of our actions.
I believe in an America, that is not held hostage by the local media and what they decide to show.
I believe in an America, where we deal more with a person's heart, than their sound system.
I believe in an America, where we recognize the sacrifices that people made, and give them honor because of it.
I believe in an America, where we hold true to our values, but are open-minded enough to listen to new ideas.
I believe in an America, where we show compassion and mercy to not just our neighbors, but our enemies as well.
I believe in an America, where we strive to do better, work harder, and not make the same mistakes.
I believe in an America, where we are more obessed with helping our neighbors, than what dress a celebrity is wearing.
I believe in an America, where the presidental choices are more than picking "the lesser of two evils".
I believe in an America, where we don't ask what our country can do for us, but what we can do for our country. 
I believe in an America, where we can work past our differences to remove this hatred from our country.
I believe in an America, where we can come together as ONE people united by a common goal.
I believe in an America, where we can stand and sing so proudly "I'm proud to be an American".
Most importantly, I believe in an America, that is still roaring and alive with hope.
I believe in this America. Even though I can not see it, I know it is still here. From the fireworks of July 4th, to the dinners of thanksgiving day, freedom and good will still exist. This is the America I believe in. Now it's up to all of us, to show the world that this America still exist.

Shattering Terrorist Myths in the U.S

So today I ask you a question: How are these terror attacks becoming such a common thing? Ever since 1999 it seems like the U.S. is littered with attacks. Today we are going to break some of the terror myths.
"Terrorist only work in large groups like Isis, and AL Qaeda."  The main problem with these attacks is that they are leaning less from a group or country, and more to fed up individuals.  According to independent.co.uk in a time period of just a few years 63 incidents were associated with groups like the Islamic state, while Right wing extremist (mostly white supremacist) were responsible for 116 attacks in the same amount of time. That is almost double the amount of the group incidents. Also 76 % of Islamic attacks were reported thwarted compared to 35% of the extremist attacks. What am I saying here? I'm saying that because they don't work with a select known terrorist group, they are a lot harder to identify, and are having more attacks. So let's just call that myth done.

"Terrorist are only from other countries"  116 attacks were from U.S citizens with extreme political leanings. U.S. Citizens.

"Terrorism just suddenly appeared." There have been small terrorist attacks throughout U.S. history. No one really thought too much about it until 9/11. It is kinda like racism. It still existed after the 1960s political movements, but because people have only until recently (I say that term loosely) been able to get their thoughts out through social media, and have gotten more aggressive about it. It still existed it just wasn't widely broadcasted.

So the real question is why do we feel like we have to hurt people who don't agree with us?  How can I explain this to my younger friends? How about to my future kids? What if they are gay? How do you explain this as if its normal? We need to learn to settle our differences non-violently. We need to push our law makers harder to get something done about guns.(I'm not liberal or conservative on this issue, I just know something needs to be done.) We need to teach our people that this isn't right. Because a lot of this stuff can be chalked up to how people were raised. We need to get back to being okay with different opinions, and welcome debate. We need to stop putting off these things, otherwise this issue will never get better. There will always be disgruntled people, but we need to teach them, that this behavior helps almost no one. That the biggest thing they change is the amount of people in a family, and where people can live. We as a country need to learn how to get along together again. Otherwise we might be another short lived Roman empire. We will collapse on ourselves.

To the class that snuck up and stole my heart.

Wow. I'm writing this just a few hours after the class of 2017 has graduated and all I have to say is wow. These people are people that I've seen almost everyday for at least 3 years. I thought they would be the class that wouldn't affect me;however, they have done quite the opposite.
The class of 2016 was obviously a really good class in all versions of the word. I never thought that I would miss another class as much as them. As usual, I was wrong.(it seems to become a trend now.) The first day this year I was hanging out with Tony before school, having lunch with Courtney in William's room, and practicing soccer with Goggles. (For those of you who don't know, Goggles is actually Andrew Kristofferson,but he always wears sports goggles, so that's where the nickname came from.) I came into to the year thinking that Becca would be my only attachment. As time went on events happened, and I ended up confiding in some of the seniors. When Cortez got arrested, Tony and I talked about it a lot, and it still comes up every once in a while now. When my grandma was first diagnosed with cancer this fall, one of the first people I talked to about it was Courtney. As the time grew so did the relationships and the levels of trust. I can honestly say that there are very few things that I would not tell to any of my now graduated friends. It's kinda funny how fast something can become normal, like Courtney and Tony's relationship, or my routine with seniors. I'm going to miss seeing them everyday. Whether it's not hanging with Tony before school, not messing with Kayla and Courtney during 3rd hour, not asking Mak how she is or if she's okay during lunch, or even just listening to Leia complain about something during yearbook, everyday is going to seem a little empty now. All of those will be memories that I hope to not forget anytime soon. While I might have wished to leave somethings on better terms with at least one of you, I am ready. I am ready to see what you accomplish outside of MHS. I have a feeling great things will come from the class of 17, and I am ready to see them happen. And if anything happens and you need someone to talk to, or even to just listen, I will be open and available to you just like you were to me. Love you/ Miss you/ Don't be a stranger/any other ending you think fits here!

The timing of God

God's timing is astounding. Yes I might have been raised in a almost always late family, yes I might always want to get to stuff early, but his timing is perfect. I will provide you a couple of examples from tonight.  I am writing this on the way back from Winter Jam. (For those of you who don't know,  Winter Jam is a concert with multiple Christian artist.) Since late September my grandma has been diagnosed with stage four cancer of 3 different types. She was given 6 to 12 months to live. She is approaching her last semi-guaranteed month, with that being February. During the Tenth Avenue North segment of the concert, they started to tell a story. Their guitar player has a sister that had gotten diagnosed with stage 4 cancer, so they wrote the song "I have hope" for her during her year of intense chemotherapy. Well the studio had told them that it needed to be on the next album, and the sister decided to go to the studios with them. While they were recording the sister got a text from the hospital. She was officially announced "in remission".  This path month I've been slowly preparing myself for my grandma's death. When you are prepared it doesn't affect you as much. This story just showed that February might not be the end. God is still in the miracle business, and I just have to trust him. Needless to say I (who doesn't go to tears super often) was starting to tear up during this song, which along with my other thing that I will say in a couple of sentences, was what I needed to hear.
   My next example also comes from Winter Jam, but starts a few days before. I was taking a look at my life and the world around me, and I realized something very ironic. My best friend Becca (who you should check out her YouTube channel, Turtles and Jesus.) has almost everything I wanted from life right now. She had a job at a radio station, she knew what she was going to do with her life, she had a boyfriend that they both could see each other getting married to (that kinda scared me a little bit, so I'm glad I'm not Ben.), she had a car, her parents would pay for her insurance, she had her drivers license... and the list just goes on and on. So I had started getting jealous, started getting mad. I even over stepped my boundaries with the question of " Why not me God? Why does she get what I want?".  Little did I know that God was going to answer me tonight. Sadie Robertson( yes the girl from Duck Dynasty) took the stage with words that God needed her to speak. She brought up the story of David and Goliath first. Goliath had pretty much anything to almost make sure he would always be the champion of battle. He had lots of muscles, abnormal height, heavy protective armor, and a giant spear that could kill anyone. He comes David, this little old farm boy with no combat experience, no armor, and no really appreciated weapons. He told Saul " hey I can take care of this guy." I imagine Saul looked at him like he was crazy. Here was this silly little farm boy, who in no way matched up to Goliath at all, who said that he could take Goliath on a fight. Saul even asked him if he was sure. David answered that if God protected him from the bear, then God would protect him from Goliath. David (as far as we know) never complained, never asked God to change his circumstances with this fight, he just took his sling and stones, and did what God wanted him to. Needless to say he won. He didn't focus on what Goliath had, he focused on what he had. That's what I need to do. I need to stop looking at everyone else's stuff, and start looking at what I have.  So yeah, God's timing is perfect.

One of the greatest gifts: the smile :)

So often we have gifts from God that we don't even recognize, breathe, the ability to speak and think, and smiles. We take some of these things for granted so much, we forget about them. Ever look at a regular picture? The chances are that there is at least one smiling person. A lot of people go around smiling without even really knowing that they are doing it. Smiling can start conversations, and is one of the best ways to start to tell how someone is feeling at a given moment. Most of all though, is the pure joy it can radiate. For instance, I did something nice that was unexpected and as soon as the person found  what it was, they started smiling cheek to cheek. (God has a really good sense of timing too, but that's for another story.) That gave me one of the warmest feeling I have had in a while. It showed that if you try to make the world a better place one act at a time, it will work. It felt amazing knowing that I could have started that much happiness. They say that smiles and happiness are contagious, and they aren't wrong. One smile can lead to two, or three. Those two or three can lead to more... So always try to keep smiling, because it can start so.e great things